Dyslexia ... Mmmm well how can I describe it
Shy away from
Exactly what makes "you"
In so many
When I look back to when I was at school. I remember thinking what is wrong with me... No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to do what my mind wanted to do... It was all up there but just wouldn't come out once pen hit paper..... I hated reading out loud... I hated the fact, that every time I would be so determined to read fluently.... But no..I never could... Even to this day I challenge myself to get passed 3 sentences... Goggly words and the constant going over what I have read to reasure myself that I read it right.... I suppose I just thought I'm not one of the clever ones... My saving grace Believe it or not is a book....my favorite book which was and still is ....Alice in wonderland... I didn't realise it at the time, but it's An adventure that takes you beyond the words of everyday life..... It shows courage and determination in a wonderful world where anything goes....where ....Everything is far from normal... My imagination is pretty Alice like... My mind flits from one thing to another... Which is frustrating not only for me but for others..... I also have an inability to stop talking... But there is so much up there... Scatty is how I and others would describe me... It's really quite fascinating... As for the right and left thing.... Awkwardly amusing...( But not for the person in the passenger seat giving directions....)
Anyway to cut a long story short.. A few years ago I was invited to do a presentation at work.... I felt sick at the thought of standing up in front of people and talking out loud... But out of my mouth came the words "yes" .. Call it inner strength ... Courage... Or as I thought to myself sheer stupidity... I anguished in the days leading up to it... I read it and read it... Careful to be wise of my background Colour on the power point... Not too many slides ... Notes at my side... And the pictures of how it would go learnt of by heart in my head...
As I stepped up to the front of the lecture theatre my heart was pounding, there whereso many people.... I took a deep breath and slowly started speaking...I may have lost my way a little and my mind still managed to wonder off, but this time it paused to think... Actually quite calmly... Surprisingly .... I never even looked at my notes....But do you know I got through it... I made sense... People asked questions, Which I could answer... I even got a round of applause.... To me that made up for all those years of struggle... And thinking I'd never make anything of myself....
After this I wrote a poem... I do this a lot.... A few years ago I worked with an amazing person. She said..." You can always turn something negative into something positive " .. And although she wasn't referring to dyslexia it made me think....
As she looked apon the page
Her worried mind
begins to race.
The words appeared
out of place.
She tried to follow
What others said,
Their fluent tones
Echoing in her head.
The story slowly
Begins to unfold,
The pictures clearBy others told.
Her turn is coming Keep on trackOnce you startThere's No turning back......
With one deep breathShe softly speaksHer MindBeganToChoke andFreak
It started wellHeyShe on a rollBut not for longHere comes the hole .....
It's swallows up The stories goalTo keep the momentumWhich would save her soul
From sneering stares...Her Awkward lookAs she paddlesThe the river With in this book.
She misses wordsAnd adds a fewThen whole linesWhat can she do
She's lost the plotAnd So have the othersThe story has goneHer head she covers
She adds to the riverWith tearsOf her ownOh why can't she do thisShe feelsAll alone...
That's where's she's wrongFor as she gets older
Her wisdom is strongerHer mind it is bolder
And as she moves With the words on the pageShe no longer feelsHurtAngerOrRage
But the magic that liesWith the gift she's been givenThe way she can thinkHer soulIt has risen
For there is more to the wordsOn the paper we seeThe black and white messThat caused misery
Her mind is aliveWith Colour and hopeOf pictures and life And how she can cope
She's turned it around Now able to see
To give it her all And what she can be.....
Well like many I suppose as I got older and wiser I always wondered... So I read...and studied about dyslexia... I knew at the back of my mind dyslexia had to be the answer.. But throughout the years always felt guilty or doubted my theories... Maybe it was just me maybe my expectations were too high... So I plucked up the courage ... At the age of 37 whist in the middle of studying for my degree... I Got tested.... I got help from some amazing people... And now I know I'm not scatty... My ideas matter... My brain may be alive and somewhat chaotic... But it only goes to show... Anything is possible no matter who you are..... And as Eisenstein said:
"Everybody is a genius.... But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree...
It will live its whole life believing it is stupid"